About Enna

This is me:

I took the liberty of adding the censorship bar and fancy tie-a-woman-to-the-train-tracks mustache. YOU'RE WELCOME.

I used to look like this:

My name is Enna, I live in Chicago with Eric, my husband, Carrie, a personable, perpetually filthy doll. A family hobby is putting Carrie in situations that we find humorous and taking pictures of her, as seen here:

This cracks up my entire family. Carrie is a doll I have had almost my entire life. She is made by Fischer Price, and was released in Britain and the US. Carrie, ironically, is from Britain.

I used to be a Market Trend Analyst, but then I got canned. I am now milking the unemployment system and actively looking for work in the Chicagoland Metro Area [Update 06/09] oh snap I am now gainfully employed! I am a workaholic, which means I am addicted to workahol.

I grew up on the south side of Chicago. Which means I am a fan of the Chicago White Sox. I have 250+ stubs from games now. Not that I have gone to that many games, more people like to give me tickets. One of these days I will frame the entire season tickets of 2005 I have accumulated. You know, the year they WON THE WORLD SERIES.

I went to Saint Christina on the South Side of Chicago for grammar school. I was the most silent student to ever have walked the puke-dust halls of that school.

I went to Lourdes High School on roughly 56th and Pulaski. I was the only non-Black, non-Hispanic, non-Polish girl to go to that school. My mother went there as well. I graduated in 2001. I am still waiting for my graduation card from you, just so you know. Don't worry, I'll just keep waiting.

I went to a Certain College and Studied Business. I would write about that, but mostly it involved me being very angry.

The worst insult I have ever sustained is someone once told me I look like the kind of girl who smokes Pall Malls.

The best compliment I ever received was I always have a funny story to tell everyone, even at a funeral, and that makes me the funniest person around.

I have a deep voice for a girl, I can stay on key with India Arie.

If you are new here, you should start out here.

I am allergic to the following things: Eggs, Beer, Shellfish, Salmon (all fish, really), mussels, cats, most dogs, whatever they use to clean shopping carts (it makes my hands swell up until they look purple and ridiculous) milk, and wheat (but only in large amounts.) Some of these things I still eat because the allergy is so mild, and the food in question is so tasty. I completely abstain from eggs, beer, and shopping carts. Eggs and beer are the worst, as they can both land me in the hospital. I wear gloves when I go shopping.

I love Diet Squirt. I hate all other diet sodas, with the exception of Diet Chocolate Fudge, which is so awesome when it is ice cold on a really hot day. I should make that my Fourth of July Tradition.

 

Enna's Very Specific Rules About Blogging:

1. If someone offers to buy your words, sell them. Be a sellout. Sellouts have very nice houses. The only exception to this rule is, of course, when you are asked to shill a project you don't really want to or don't believe in. People who make fun of people who capitalize on doing what they love are called talentless poor jealous bastards.

2. I know people who make their livings doing this. I know people who have done this for years and still have a core audience of 15 people. You need to decide what kind of blogger you are going to be, and then go for it. Be uncompromising.

 

Enna's  Very Specific Rules for Life:

1. Set goals for yourself, and then figure out the map of how to achieve them.

2. Everyone has at least one asshole in their life who tells them they cannot achieve what they want. Figure out who that asshole is an ignore them, it's for the best, really.

3. You can't go home again. And when forced to, remember, you don't have to fall back into your familiar old roles.

4. People will willingly call you an idiot - don't call yourself one and do it for them.

5. Do what you love, and fuck the rest.

You can contact me via leaving a comment or by emailing me at SuperEnna@gmail.com.