The Reason I Will Be Fired By The End of The Day

I am on a fast for a class I am taking. I am allowed to drink liquids (I am assuming clear liquids but I am drinking tea and sugar-free lemonade. If I am assuming wrongly then...well screw it, I am not starting over!) I have to get to 7 p.m. tonight before I can eat something, which is quite ironic, because I normally do not eat after 7 p.m.

And when I say "ironic" I mean "the universe hates me and is trying to teach me that I, even though I am an adult, still cannot plan out my life properly."

Anyway, so I spent my lunch today surfing the net, looking at things, emailing friends, looking at pictures of food, specifically minestrone soup...

One of my friends emails me back with a screenshot of an article from the New York Times, so I open it.

I am completely unaware that the CEO of my company is standing behind me waiting for me to address her. COMPLETELY UNAWARE.

As I am clicking on this picture to open it, I am thinking to myself "How weird that she reads the Times. She always seemed like she wasn't interested in world events and a bit of a ditz."

YEAH - I CALLED YOU A DITZ - WHAT OF IT.

Obviously she is not as ditzy as me, because I actually opened the file.

The picture was an erect penis with the tip a photoshop of the face of that Edward Guy from Twilight (you know, pale British guy, bad posture, good teeth, constantly looks like he has cum in his hair. YEAH YOU KNOW WHO I AM TALKING ABOUT.)

See, I would just google his name but then it will look like I am obsessed with him, and rest assured, I am not.

Unless he is chosen to play James Bond. Then I will not be able to help myself.

Anyway, the gist of this story is that I turn into an idiot when I do not have a carb in me but, on the plus side, I now know how that Edward guy gets his hair to stand up like that.