If you know me in real life - please read this. Shit, print that out and put it on your fridge.
And now, for a conversation between myself and my (new) doctor:
Doctor: "You have a very good family medical history. Um, are you sure you're not adopted?"
Me: "No, we're sure. I am just what's known in nature as 'the runt.' If we were in the animal kingdom, my family would have left me to die right after birth."
Doctor: "Wow. Just...wow."
I can tell this is going to be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I say crap like this to strangers all the time. I don't understand how they don't find me hilaaarious.
ReplyDeleteI swear most people don't have any sense of humor at all. How did that doctor not think your comment was hysterical? Idiot.
Excuse me while I cross my legs thinking about my natural childbirth with the "runt" that weighed 9 pounds 3 ounces.
ReplyDeleteAHAHAHA!
ReplyDeleteI said that right after she asked me when my last tentnus shot was, and I told her that it was within the last three years, when I accidentally got stabbed through the arm with a sword. She had this look on her face like "She might be homeless and mentally unstable."
ReplyDeleteMost people just think I am homeless. I swear it is the hair/crazy look in my eye.
You know... she coulda been evaluating whether you would make a good light weaponry opponent in her SCA Guild. .... I mean, its possible after all, just look at it in a different light! Where else to people get stabbed by swords?
ReplyDeleteHAHA possibly!
ReplyDeleteThe sent a neonatologist(sp) to see you in the nursery after you were born. They specialize in preemies and others that are underweight. You were healthier than your mom at that point.
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHA.
ReplyDelete