One of my female friends teaches at an all-boys Catholic school. I went out to eat with her over the weekend. We slide into our booths, get handed out menus, and I start to look for what I want to eat.
"Holy shit! Did you fingerbang Paris Hilton?" She yells (don't act like you didn't yell bitch) across the Denny's.
"Uhhh ...no?" I respond, totally unaware of what the heck she is talking about, but now every old man in the entire place is VERY INTERESTED in me and my apparent friendships with a certain debutante.
"Look at your fingers!" She responds, looking at me like I'm the crazy one.
I am silent for a second and then I ask "Did you just use the term 'fingerbang?'"
"Teenage boys man," she says, just slowly shaking her head.
And all I can think is "I cannot wait to blog about this! This story is going to generate some crazy ass search terms! Yesssss!"
*places a big red x over her computer screen as she is cracking up*
ReplyDeleteDeary. Mebbe its time you started wearin' those evah so Daintee glovs when visitin' with yur ladies. ESpeshiully thos ladies who do not read yur ever so tasteful web-log.
No where ever did I get that lovely accent from? Hors d'oeuvre?
But if you did that, where would the comedy come from?? Dilemmas....
I already wear gloves while I sleep...mannnnnn being a girl sucks!
ReplyDeleteFunny story, but can I be a grammar dick? If you end the dialogue with an ! or ?, you don't capitalize the he/she tag.
ReplyDelete"Did you fingerbang Paris Hilton?" she yells.
"Look at your fingers!" she responds.
Sorry. It just distracted me.
QUICK MY MINIONS - STONE THIS MAN TO DEATH FOR POINTING OUT MY FLAWS!
ReplyDeleteErrr...uhh....I mean I will try to remember that in the future...yeeeees, that is what I meant.
the quotes are so wonderful and absurd, they just deserve to be graced by proper tags. I really just wanted to type out the words fingerbang Paris Hilton for myself in correcting them.
ReplyDeleteContrary to the call of she who controls the blog, I would like to say CONGRATULATIONS! for making this post ten times more funny! AND ever so educational! I was totally wondering when to use lower case after ! and ?
ReplyDeleteAs you can prolly tell from this comment... I totally suxors at anything resembling grammar. :-) But that doesn't mean I don't like to know the answers.