Random

It's a Monday...eh...

Here are some threats I have said to Eric in the past month, usually jokingly (usually):

I am so going to fart into your coffee cup when you are not looking.

I'm baking a pie. It's made out of baby. Only I get to eat it, NO BABY PIE FOR YOU.

I'm a better drummer than you. Let that sink in awhile Mister, and contemplate the ramifications of THAT! (I really had no idea where I was going with this threat, it didn't even start out as a threat, but then Eric said it sounded like I could beat him down, in rhythm no less, and it suddenly and unintentionally became a threat.)

Random things I have thought about in the past week:

Crap almighty, you people make me want to climb to the top of a bell tower and start reloading!

That guy can eat a dick. Shit, he can eat a whole bag of dicks.

I wonder how far breast milk can spray? There HAS to be a competition around that. Probably in Germany. Germans are fucking crazy.

For those of you wondering, I don't really want an answer to that breast milk question - it was rhetorical. Also, my book is going up on Amazon by the end of next week, which means it will be sold world-wide, and from a reputable dealer. It also means that if you get a coupon code for Amazon you can use it to buy my book. This ALSO means I get to use the book cover I designed all those months ago. It also means that I can take print-outs of my sales reports from this reputable dealer and attach them to book proposals for when I market my next book - which is fiction (which means it's better than what I normally slap up on this site, all haphazardly.)

Which means I officially need a literary agent. Fuck me in the neck.

In other news, my cousin Tom sent me this link. He said my twin made a special TV appearance, and mercy did she. (Fair warning, there is swearing involved as well as Anti-Catholic Anti-Pope sentiment, also, my twin is Sarah Silverman, so yeah, if you have ever seen her comedy, you know what is coming.)