Sorry Paul

So, back back back in the day, I used to take sewing lessons. I know, throw those shameful glances in my direction.

Anyway, my ex-boyfriend Paul has a grandmother (like many of my ex-boyfriends) and this grandmother was a friend of my family.

Grandma O, as she will now be called, was quite taken with me. I like to think that it's because I was a really shy, quiet child (I know, shocking, right?) She found out I was taking sewing lessons, and asked me if I wanted to make her granddaughter some Barbie clothes, and she would pay me for them.

I thought this was a great idea, so I said yes.

Then my mother made the Barbie clothes because I was just learning to sew and was still working on the whole "straight line" idea (an idea I am still working on mastering).

And we passed her Barbie clothes off as mine.

Now flash forward to when I was 17. I am dating Paul, and Paul mentions the fact that his grandmother always compared him to me. Like, his WHOLE life. Every time he got a B for a grade, she would say "I'll bet that Enna got an A" (she lost that bet, I don't even know which class that was in, but she lost that bet!)

So, I ask Paul why - why does his grandmother constantly compare his accomplishments to mine? Why me?

And he says "Because Enna, you were under ten when you were starting your own Barbie clothing business, and I was just a chubby kid  playing video games all day long."

And that's when I drop the bomb on him - I never made those clothes, my mom did.

This look comes over him. It's the look of "I have wasted my whole life."

"Why didn't you ever tell me! Wait! Wait! We are calling my grandmother RIGHT NOW!" He was screaming and animated. More so than I have ever seen him.

I talked him out of calling his grandmother. I mean really, there are very few grandmothers that are impressed with me.

But it was weird. It was like I was watching something unfold that shaped his whole life. I kind of felt bad for the guy.

But, on the same note, I set him free from this tether. And he lives a very charmed life. He is one of the most interesting people I have ever met, and I am thankful that I got to be a small part of what shaped his life.

Ok, and now for more list: (If you're wondering what this list is all about, and why I am over-sharing,  you can see this post, this post, this post, and this post.)

86. I am so totally drunk right now.

87. I have given away more free copies of my book than I have sold. This probably makes me a failure as a writer, but then, out of no where, my friend Becca (not to be confused with Becki) sends me a text telling me I am meant to be a great writer. There is a God.

88. Nothing is sexier to me than Eric in a suit. Hence why we are not having tuxes at the wedding.

89. I secretly miss my former co-workers a lot. They get my sense of humor.

90. I am obsessed with soccer. I will start my own team one day.

91. I have survived skin cancer. Ok, it was precancerous, but to me, it was scary enough to count.

92. I do not understand Basketball. Eric has told me about it, explained it to me a million times, and I just don't get it. The closest he ever came was by saying "It's like soccer only you can use your hands."

93. I hate AT&T. I will never have their service again. No, seriously. I have never been so happy as when cell phones began to replace home phones. I take joy in calling them just to remind them that I will never again go with their service.

94. Dan Aykroyd is my hero. I want to live his life. Complete with having a super hot wife.

95. I once kept of a count of how many times I peed during the day. 24 times. There has GOT to be something wrong with that!

96. Someone mentioned someone's name I hadn't talk to since March recently. I used to talk to this person daily. You know how when you are walking somewhere, and someone is making a turkey, and it takes you a second to recognize that old, familiar smell. It was like that. "Who?" was my response. That response didn't make me happy, or sad. It was just a response.

97. I am way too much like Jack Donaghy. It disturbs me.

98. I have a weird fear of odd numbers. I find them untrustworthy.

99. I spend an awful lot of time in the art museum.

100. Have you ever looked in the mirror at yourself and said your name. I have. I still don't think it fits me. That's the real reason I use different names on the internet - I am trying to get closer to something that is more me.