Too Soon?

Joe: Ohhh I am so sick, do you have anything I can take to clear my sinuses?

Me: I have the Noah's Ark remedy, if you want it.

Joe: Oh man, do I even want to know what that is?

Me: You take two of everything until you think you're talking to God.

Joe: Wow. You know that's how Heath Ledger died, right?

Me: I am going to go ahead and point out the obvious by saying that Heath is indeed talking to God right now.

Joe: I am glad to see that regular church attendance has been good for you.

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Erin: I looked up my headache on WebMD and it said I was pregnant. I thought you would understand.

Me: I would rather be told by WebMD that I am pregnant than their usual response of CANCER CANCER OH YES YOU HAVE CANCER.

Erin: So...I guess pregnancy = cancer according to WebMD. I guess it's the same, you have something growing in you until someone gets it out.

Me: Wow. That right there is blogworthy (and it was!)

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Me: Oh my squee! IKEA has a crib that sits on the ground, it's not one of those full sized ones, it's like an apartment crib! Now we can have a baby!

Eric: Seriously, IKEA was the only thing stopping us from having a kid?

Me: IKEA's lack of registry is the only thing stopping us from registering for gifts, so, I guess our reproductive decisions should be based on some strangely named Swedish furniture as well.

Eric: I sincerely hope IKEA doesn't one day start selling caskets. You might kill me in the night just because you got a good deal on a casket.

Me: No, not unless they sold plots as well.

Eric: Wow. That was the least comforting thing you have ever said to me!

Me: I'm sorry, not unless they sold plots as well sweetie.

Eric: Ah, so much better.

I would rather be pregnant than get the result of CANCER CANCER CANCER YES YOU HAVE CANCER!