First, let's start by reading this, which will put this post in perspective.
I'm quirky. I also kinda look like Zooey's ugly younger sister who got what was left when the good genes in the genepool were all used up.
But, I am also clumsy and do not think out my quirky plans. For instance, I was once dating a guy, and I decided to build a giant middle finger out of pencils in his bedroom. Why? Sheer mayhem mixed with a little quirkiness. Plus he had more pencils in his room than an Office Depot.
So, a middle finger was construted on a giant hand using only wire hangers, pencils, and scotch tape. I was studying sculpture at the time, and I did a pretty damned good job if I do say so myself. I mean, when he came into the room, he instantly noticed a four foot sculpture that wasn't there 20 minutes before was giving him the finger. Oh, I think I used a little string too.
What I did not plan out, however, was his cat taking an IMMEDIATE interest in the sculpture and pouncing on it. The cat destroyed that thing, and then went NUTS. When it pounced, the sculpture collapsed on it and some of the pencils stabbed the cat. Apparently, this guy liked his pencils SHARP (he was later diagnosed with OCD, which kinda makes sense because really he was the neatest person ever but then kinda doesn't make sense because he was dating ME. I am a walking, talking OCD attack waiting to happen.)
We ended up chasing the cat around his house pulling pencils out of it the rest of the night.
I guess what I am trying to say is that there's still some of us quirky ladies out there in the world (sans daddy issues and a shaved head, thank you) but as we grow older we learn to control our quirkiness to a time and place that it would be appropriate. For instance, I am writing this from a couch cushion and pillow fort in my living room. Appropriate amount of quirky for the environment? You bet your ass!
And later? When I fart in my fort and stink it up, will I drag Eric into it to torture him? You are damned right I will. Ok, maybe that's not quirky, maybe that's just mean. I'll ask him in about 30 seconds when he gets in here....
OH ERIC! COME SEE THIS AWESOME FORT I MADE!
1) Zooey is the younger sister, not Emily;
ReplyDelete2) Neither stunning woman ever deserves the adjective "lesser"
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Wait...who the hell is emily? Zooey has a sister? Does she act? I feel so uncool for not knowing this...
ReplyDeletePLEASE tell me this is part of the follow-up book!
ReplyDeleteThe part about the cat getting the pencils stuck... oh, it tastes like heartburn.
(If nothing else, I've learned not to drink while reading your posts)
I dunno. When you lived at home you were bright, engaging, and the prettiest girl around for five miles. Quirky? No. I suspect prolonged exposure to maple syrup and cigarettes. Just sayin'
ReplyDeleteI can never tell if you are being sarcastic or just plain passive aggressive anymore.
ReplyDeleteEmily Deshanel is Bones in Bones. Uh.... Yeah. But wait. I got the impression that Enna was adding herself to the family description and not saying she looked like Emily..... *confused*
ReplyDelete*pokes nose*
ReplyDeleteLMAO. Sadly no. I only thought of it by reading the Daddy Likey Tumblr. Half the stuff I did I don't remember until something triggers it. It's not like I sit down and think...I'll write about THAT ONE TIME I ...
ReplyDeleteBut there are new stories in the book. So that's a plus.
Passive-aggressive? Now I'm really confused. I thought I was more of a take-the-bull-by-the-horns kind of a gal. You know, fatally blunt. But in hindsight, someone else might have thought you were quirky. We just thought you were adorable and really, really imaginative. There weren't many 8th graders who asked for a telescope as a graduation gift, nor high school girls who wanted a canoe to sail in down the Cal-Sag with their father. You'll have to tell your dear readers the rest of the canoe story. XOXO
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