Worst Interview Ever

Ok, so I went on a job interview the other day, and it didn't exactly go as well as it could have. It was one of those days where I should have just stayed home.

The first indication that it was going to be a bad day was, while walking to the train, I knocked over a man on these weird moon-bounce stilts. I know. How weird is that. I was like DUDE what are you doing on stilts in the middle of the day in the parking lot of a train station?! He was like Oh sorry about that...and then gets up and wanders off. HE DIDN'T ANSWER MY QUESTION. If I had more time, I would have run him down and asked him again.

Instead, I get on the train, and head on my way to my job interview. Half way there, I start to feel sick to my stomach, and I realize I am not quite over the bug I have been fighting for the past week. Then, about 40 girl scouts get on the trains with their den mothers (or whatever they are called.)

I sent a text out to some people I know, saying "Agreeing to go on this interview was a bad idea, something tells me these girl scouts are about to get their Cleaning Up A Stranger's Vomit badge."

To which my friend George replied, "Think of the blog fodder!" And he was right - I mean, that would have been a great story in itself, but alas, I did not vomit.

While on the train, still deciding whether or not to vomit, someone sits down next to me and says "Here, you look like you need this" and hands me a small booklet and then gets up and walks away.

It's a religious track. A SCIENTOLOGY religious tracks. I am like WTF?! No, I am sorry, I do not have time to think about the saving power of Xenu. I read the thing, and mercy, that was weird. I will not even go into what it said, but I do plan on scanning it in the near future, because this craziness needs to be shared with the internet!

So, I make my way over to the place I am interviewing, and tell the receptionist who I am there to see, and sit down and make sure my suit is on straight and all that.

Then, the woman I am there to see comes out, and I stand up to shake her hand, and trip over my briefcase and fall over a chair - Dick VanDyke style. The woman I am interviewing is completely shocked, and I stand up and say "Well, now that we've gotten the Me Making An Ass Out Of Myself portion of the interview over with, let's talk about my resume shall we." Then the woman interviewing me - she starts laughing her ass off. Like, falling over holding her stomach laughing.

See, if the point of a job interview were to maker the interviewer laugh until she tinkled a little, then consider me hired! But sadly, that wasn't the point.

And for those of you wondering, I DO have normal interviews, but that doesn't make for very good blogging. So sadly, to you all, my dear readers, it looks like I am a bumbling idiot who will never be employed.

Seriously though that Scientology track was really weird though.