Spoiler Alert!

I know I said I was taking a week off...but what can I say, I just can't quit you!

Remember when I said I went to a Bridal Shower the other day? I forgot to tell you the best part of the shower - a story from my grandmother.

Someone mentioned something about someone dying, but they lived a full life, they had kids, etc.

I disagree with that whole idea that you have to have children to have a full life. I am not saying I do not want children, quite the contrary, but I think, so far, you could say I have lived a full and exciting life up until this point. Plus, I have a neice and nephew I can spoil rotten anytime I like (oh yes, here's an obligatory picture:)

[caption id="attachment_1060" align="aligncenter" width="468" caption="Baby Peas is happy she is going to be a brunette just like Auntie Enna"][/caption]

Eric and my view has always been that you should only have children when they are going to be a blessing to your household. Right now they would not be a blessing. In 2 years they would not be a blessing.3 years? Maybe.

My grandmother, however, feels very differently. She wants me to have kids now now now now RIGHT NOW.

While at the Bridal Shower, my grandmother regaled me with this story:

"Your aunt Jeanne's maid-of-honor's aunt so-and-so and her husband never wanted to have kids, just like you and Eric, and one day, she went to the doctor, and she found out that she was riddled with tumors and she died."

Being the sarcastic asshole that I am, I replied "Gee grandma, that story could have used a 'spoiler alert'"

To which my grandma replies "Oh yes Enna, she was spoiled. On the inside. WITH CANCER" She says this while pointing to her crotch, which I must admit shocked me, not because the woman died of some kind of cancer of the CROTCH but because we were in a crowded room and my grandmother made hand-pointing-motions to her crotch to me in front of everyone and the room kind of fell silent, or to me at least it did. It was safe to say I hit the spiked punch pretty hard after that.

"Her husband has no one now. NO ONE. His family all died and he is all alone. You go home and tell Eric that story. I'll bet that will change his mind about kids!"

Instead I told Eric that my grandmother told me where to find an elderly sugar-daddy to be a trophy wife to, because she mentioned that he has all this money and a big ole house and no one to take care of him. And he's lonely, because he never had kids. If that doesn't spell prime sugar-daddy material I don't know what does!