Full Frontal Before 10 A.M.

For those of you who do not follow my Twitter (shame on you!) I posted this delightful tweet yesterday while on my way to a job interview:



I was on my way to a job interview, and I decided to stop at a public bathroom in downtown Chicago so I could splash my face with cool water and make sure I wasn't a hot sweaty ghetto mess.

First though, I go to the bathroom, seeing as no one else is in the bathroom, and I have it all to myself. I finish up, and I hear someone come in and run the water. I exit the stall and come around the corner and see what only can be described as a homeless bag lady with no pants or underwear on  furiouslywashing her va-jay-jay, to quote Oprah.

Do you ride public transportation? I do. Every so often someone on the public trans system finds an unattended box or gym bag. Every time this happens, it is treated as a bomb threat, and everyone on the train needs to be evacuated as quickly as possible. The train conductor announces that an unidentified package has been found and the bomb squad has been called and please exit the train as quickly and calmly as possible. There's this moment of silence, and then all hell breaks loose. People are pushing and shoving their way out of the train as quickly as possible.

This is what happened to me in the bathroom, I turned the corner, processed what I was seeing, and then internally - all hell broke loose. I RAN out the door.

And, for the record, the woman had pubic hair from her thighs all the way to her belly button, and it was all soapy. It look like she was wrestling Don King with her thighs in the middle of a Car Wash.

By the time I got to the job interview, I was a hot sweaty FREAKED OUT ghetto mess. But on the plus side, I remembered to wear deodorant, and I will take any little victory where I can find it.