I was talking to a friend last night, and let's just call her Andrea. I was retelling the story of the whole exploding-bird-on-my-balcony experience, and she was like OH OH OH HAVE I GOT A STORY FOR YOU!
Andrea left her patio door open, and she lives on the first floor of a three floor apartment complex. She opens her patio door to air out the house, hops into the shower, gets out of the shower, and closes the patio door. She then heads out for a night on the town.
When she comes home in the wee hours of the morning - she discovers that all her toilet paper has been shredded and her couch looks like someone put the bottom half through a paper shredder.
So, she does what every woman who thinks there is a badger in her house does - she puts a metal colander on her head and grabs a broom. She also laments that she does not have a boyfriend at this moment because "merciful crap are boys useful in these kinds of situations." And she sets about trying to find the badger or mountain lion or whatever that did this damage to her house.
She also laments to herself that she is not as cool as me and does not have a weapons wall like I do. Yeah, I have a weapons wall. As in this kind of thing. Yes, I am aware that mounting weapons on a wall in my house makes me pretty much every 13-year-old-boy's perfect woman. BUT IT IS ALSO USEFUL WHEN WILD ANIMALS GET INTO YOUR HOUSE.
So Andrea is hunting some wild animal, and when she gets into her bedroom, she discovers a cat curled up on her bed. Which pretty much made me recoil in horror over the phone. I mean - WHERE HAS THAT THING BEEN? IT HAS GERMS!
But Andrea, being responsible and not having my penchant for cruelty, decides to keep the cat, obviously have it declawed, and give it the proper shots. You know, versus me, who would have a VERY hard time not just throwing it off an eighth floor balcony for destroying my couch. But that's just me.
I hope everyone had a wonderful Easter!
It's funny how they work their way into our hearts. Your friend should be careful though about leaving doors open while in the shower
ReplyDeleteI agree!
ReplyDeleteI'd have to agree with you Enna, about the dropping of the cat off the balcony. Simply testing the myth about the "all-fours," you know. Just my opinion.
ReplyDeleteAAGH no declawing DDDDD:
ReplyDeleteIt's terribly dangerous to the animal psychologically and physically. You're basically cutting off the last joint of all of the cat's fingers/toes. The recovery process is long and painful and often leads to infections and deformed bones. It leaves the poor little guy utterly defenseless if it ever gets out and gets into a fight with something. Also, scratching/kneading is how cats get rid of stress - if you take that away they end up really frustrated and may do something worse, like peeing/pooping in non-litterbox locations and biting things (and people).
I thought of you when I was telling her how horrified I would be at the sheer amount of GERMS that cat brought in.
ReplyDeleteI will pass that along. Sorry - I just know little to nothing about cats WHATSOEVER. I just know if they scratch me it is VERY VERY BAD.
ReplyDelete