I hate using WebMD. Usually when something is wrong, I just start adding symptoms to google and hit "search" and see what it turns up. The reason I hate WebMD is because it keeps telling me I have cancer. And, more specifically, BRAIN CANCER.
Me: I have stomach pains.
WebMD: Congratulations! You have brain cancer!
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Me: I have loose stools (side note - never thought I would write that for the whole world to see)
WebMD: Congratulations! You have brain cancer!
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Me: I have a headache
WebMD: Congratulations! You have a brain tumor! It's probably cancerous.
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So, on Friday, when I got a double nose bleed, I googled "nose bleed" and of course absent-mindedly clicked on the WebMD link. And guess what it said?
No! Not that! What a filthy potty mouth you have!
It told me I needed a cold compress. I was kind of surprised. I mean, I always thought a nose bleed was one of the signs of a brain tumor. Who knew?
You know what I do like? Samosas and roller skating. I thought I would add something I did like because this is such a downer of a post, you know? You can't mention brain cancer that many times and make it a upbeat post, though I did give it a try. Though I would not enjoy samosas and roller skating at the same time, unless you actually have some semblance of coordination, unlike me. Though that may be a side of effect of something...let me check WebMD...
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ReplyDeleteOh, honey, e-mail me when you have questions. I can ask real doctors for you, rather than ones that graduated med school yesterday! In my experience, that website gives you just enough information to be dangerous.
ReplyDeleteI will remember to do this! Especially since I have no health insurance!
ReplyDeleteroller skating is a pretty sweet pasttime. but have you noticed the roller rinks have gotten shockingly ghetto these days?
ReplyDeleteTHEY HAVE. Except right by me - there's like 14 within 5 miles from me that are straight out of the 70s, what with their disco nights and whatnot.
ReplyDelete