Monday, March 23, 2009

Secrets to Success

*ring ring*

Me: Ahoy-hoy?

Matt:  I did what you said, and it worked.

Me: Awesome!

Matt: I made, like, six grand in twenty minutes!

Me: AWESOME SAUCE SIR!

Matt: You should make a video. Like those guys on TV. "Buy my system, I can guarantee you six grand in twenty minutes!"

Me: Yeah, it will cost something like 15 dollars. It will be just cheap enough that people will think to themselves "WHY NOT" and buy it.

Matt: Absolutely!

Me: Then they would get my "proven system" and I would just be me in an empty room, sitting on a chair.

Matt: Then a waiter would come in and ask for your order, and you would ask for a single plum floating in perfume in a man's hat.

Me: Totally! Then I would walk up to the camera and wisper "The secret of success is..."

Matt: Savings and wise investments?

Me: NO! Then I scream at the camera "Not buying shit you don't need off the TV!"

Matt: This needs to happen. Like, yesterday.

OH SNAP WORLD, it's already been made!





4 comments about my weirdness:

  1. See, I am telling NOT to buy stuff. NOT TO. Bernie would be like "just send me your money, I will take care of you."

    ReplyDelete
  2. you need to hire vince the shamwow guy. he would do a better job than these lame ass people and their pathetic acting skillz

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yeah...but they get the point across!

    ReplyDelete