It Was THAT Kind of Party

One of my friends has a grandmother who works in AIDS Hospice Care.  This delightful little grandmother gets condoms in bulk that she is required to hand out to her patients. Here's the thing - they're HOSPICE patients. Hospice is a nicer way of saying being sent home to await death. Otherwise known as Florida.

Anyway, these patients have very little use for condoms. I mean, come on, they have ADVANCED AIDS, I am sure sex is the last thing on their minds. But the US Government says otherwise.

So, grandma has a surplus of condoms. Grandma, being a cool grandma, ships the extra condoms home to her grandchildren. When I say extra, I mean easily 4 boxes of like 10,000 condoms.

One night, one of my friends who is in the Air Force, whom we will nickname Aislynn due to the military being REALLY BIG on not having their soldiers names and locations online, and we had a party for her.

At some point in the night,  I got pretty drunk on champagne. And, also at some point during the night, a box of condoms got broken into.

And at some point during the night, I figured out a few truths about myself and condoms:

1. If you put a condom over a beer, shake it up, and then open it, it fills up something fierce, and is quite humorous.

2. I can fit a condom up my arms so far that it goes past my elbows.

3. I can cover my whole foot and ankle with condoms.

4. I can make impromptu water wings with condoms.

5. Condoms hold a very large amount of drinking induced vomit.

6. I can make giant flowers out of condoms.

7. All these condom tricks are far more humorous with a stomach full of champagne.

8. Somewhere, on a military base, there is an entire roll of film with me doing party tricks with condoms, in a bikini no less. I am a constant source of pride for my mother, I swear.

9. Condoms are bar-none the greatest party conversation piece I have ever seen.

The point of this entry is not to, you know, bar myself from a future job, but mostly to tell you that if you happen to have a friend who is going overseas, and you happen to have a bunch of champagne lying around, invite me over, because apparently, that is all it takes for me to have a rocking good time.

Speaking of a rocking good time...

My friend's band (the Flips) is playing here: http://www.maxumbarandgrill.com/map.htm

On March 6th, 2009, from 9 to 11 p.m.

If you print this out: http://www.q101.com/Other/PDF/oldStyleNewBeersBash/oldStyleNBE_invite_01.pdf you get free cover!

And we might as well get this plug-train chugging along...

Are you looking for something to wear this Friday to the Flips Show?

Then you should check out Clad Scantily. They make custom T-Shirts. Their custom T-Shirts are awesome, and they are the unofficially sponsor of the South Side Irish Parade.