Thanks for Paying Into the System, Suckas!

I compiled a list of things I do (in addition to looking for a job) all day while I am on unemployment. I compiled this list because a couple people commented that it seems like all I do is clean my house all day long, or at least, that's what I Twitter about all day long. So, here's what most of my week days consist of, in no particular order:

1. Facebook - Holy one-legged Jesus am I addicted to Facebook. You do not even know. I check this thing like 4,000 times a day. If one of my friends sneezes, I immediately know about it, and what's more, immediately comment about it.

2. Cleaning my house - if you read my Twitter, you know this one is a large chunk of my time. The problem has become that my house is now beyond what normal people call clean. Like, when you scrub the floor with a sponge on your hands and knees DAILY, you know you need a job pronto. And I need a job pronto.

3. Texting friends while they are at work/school - thank goodness for email texts, or I would be bankrupt right about now. And seriously, if you think MY LIFE is boring now, you should read some of these texts.

4. Pre-Making Dinner - I prep dinner at 9 a.m. NINE A.M. PEOPLE. That is just messed up.

5. Quilting - holy hell do you need a lap/throw/baby quilt? Because I am quite good at hand making them.

Skills I have acquired while being on unemployment:

-Smashing empty beer cans on my forehead. (Yes, I am slowly becoming a bro, I am aware.)

-Cleaning grout until it is WHITER THAN SNOW.

-Making perfect  Creme Brulee.

-Making hats out of my morning newspaper. Why yes, I am Captain of the laundry basket, thank you for noticing.

-Making any sort of cake or dessert. For real. I'm like Betty Fricken Crocker over here.

 

Ok, that's it, sorry for the short post people, but Captain Enna of the laundry Basket needs to bake a cake and clean the house -  because today is Eric's birthday!