Other Life Skills I am Lacking

Once, my brother and I went out for the same job. We had back-to-back interviews, so we carpooled. Within the first twenty minutes of my brother's interview, he was cut.  Then came my interview. I made it to the second round of interviews. I tried to comfort my brother by saying they were just cutting the smart people.

AND WOULDN'T YOU KNOW IT, I WAS RIGHT.

The job was a pyramid scheme, and they really were getting rid of all the smart people.  I, apparently, looked like a sucker, or at least not that bright.

Upon realizing that it was a pyramid scheme (and it wasn't too far into the second interview) I promptly stood up and gave a little speech:

"This is a pyramid scheme!  And I, for one, am pissed off that I came out here, got dressed up, and actually printed out my resume on fancy paper! I USED MY FANCY PAPER FOR YOU PEOPLE. YOU WERE NOT WORTH MY FANCY PAPER.  You brought me out here under false pretenses! You brought me out here for an administrative position, and now you want me to sell your crap! AND IT'S CRAP!  And I am no sucker, just because I skewered myself through the foot three times in my life DOES NOT MAKE ME A SUCKER. AND NOW I HAVE TO GO BECAUSE MY BROTHER IS WAITING IN THE CAR."

See, the problem with me is when I get angry, like really angry, I get really honest. Like that little speech right there? Where I admit that I have stepped on three nails in my life and managed to skewer myself three times? Yeah, that really didn't need to be said, but darned if it didn't come flying out my mouth.

The problem with me is that I do not learn from my mistakes, thus I continue to lack life skills. Because that is how people learn life skills, they learn from their mistakes.

But not me.  I apparently also still look like a sucker, because I keep getting call backs from fricken pyramid schemes.  But I am a lot wiser now, it doesn't even get to the second interview before I realize it's a pyramid scheme.

But seriously, I am tired of printing out my resume on fancy paper for douchebags. Douchebags who want me to sell Viagra knockoffs from Canada (Why Canada, I thought we were cool?!)

Either way, I am getting better on those life skills, now aren't I?

UPDATE:

I am walking out the door to a job interview. Wish me luck! This one looks promising!