Once, after a night of heavy drinking, a group of friends and I decided to go see a movie.
I should stop right here and tell you that I don't drink. Very rarely will I drink. Usually just on the day of the South Side Irish Parade. And even then, not much. This means I am the designated driver pretty much all the fricken time. This also means that I have a great memory for antics my friends partake in, even when they do not. This also means I have great fodder for this blog. THANK YOU DRUNK FRIENDS!
Anyway, so after a night of hard drinking, we head out to the local mega-plex. My friend Hank is talking to me, and in very much into the conversation. He is also very much drunk. So, we buy out tickets, and I head to the bathroom, because, if you do not know by now, I have a bladder the size of a walnut.
Hank follows me, walks into a stall, and doesn't close the stall door. He starts peeing. We are still talking, and I am peeing, and it occurs to me - THESE ARE NOT UNISEX BATHROOMS. Right about the time I realize it, so does a little girl, who runs out of the bathroom. Hank is washing his hands, and the women on either side of him are staring at him like "Do we say something...?"
This is when it finally dawns on Hank that he is indeed in the women's restroom. We quickly exit, and go into our theater, if for no other reason than we did not want the heighten the chances of the cops coming and finding us, and arresting the "pervert" in the women's restroom.
But seriously, we carried on that conversation for three whole minutes before we realized what was happening. And that's just kind of sad, considering I was STONE COLD SOBER.
[...] My Buddy Hank « Kosher Porkchops Dot Com [...]
ReplyDeleteOh, that's funny. Yeah, those soccer moms were probably wierded out a bit. But what were they doing there that late? You said you guys had been drinking all night!
ReplyDeleteMidnight shows are the best after drinking!
ReplyDeleteA few years ago I was in a mens room washing up afterwords when a lady walked in. I looked at her and smiled a bit knowing that the dawning would hit in a second or two. It did and she had a look on her face which is hard to describe. It was a combination of horror, embarrassment, curiosity and she had a sickly smile that stressed that she realized that she was in the wrong place. Priceless!
ReplyDeleteThen there was another time when I was out at a fraternity reunion. We had rented a room at a very swanky place but we didn't know that the cross dressers had a convention in the very next room. It was really something to see someone in a dress going into the mens room to remove the 5 O' Clock shadow.
Nice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI forgot to add the common thread here. In the first one, she ran like crazy. The second one, I ran like crazy.
ReplyDeleteI am quite sure you did!
ReplyDeleteTHESE ARE NOT UNISEX BATHROOMS.....straight comedy!
ReplyDeleteThis was fun to read. Thanks. You have an interesting blog and a cool view on life! Have fun blogging! *(*
ReplyDeletefor real? when did this happen and where the hell was i?
ReplyDeletegoodness
I have walked into the wrong restroom more than once.
ReplyDeletewhat im more surprised by is how often I see women using the stalls in mens rooms. after a couple drinks some gals have no trouble switching to the shorter line.
Geo W, when we gotta go~we are not picky where! *(*
ReplyDeleteDoraz/GeoW - Indeed. I will totally go into the men's if the women's line is too long.
ReplyDeleteDenise - I think this was roughly 8 to 10 years ago now. I would go with roughly 8.
David - Why thank you.
You know, I've got to tell you... Your friend thinks he is in an unisex bathroom yet he does not close the stall door behind him?!? Why am I the only one to find this completely weird?
ReplyDeleteHe actually thought he was in the men's room.
ReplyDeleteIn that case, do you often pee in men's room? I think Hank's alcohol intake should be supervised from now on. For his own good.
ReplyDeleteohhhhh hank. what is it with hanks?
ReplyDelete