Conversations

This is a story about a buddy of mine...she was sent to a women's empowerment seminar by her company...

The other day, when I posted my various text messages, I wanted to post this conversation between my friend and myself. She said no way, but I finally convinced her that this is possibly the funniest thing I have ever read, she agreed, as long as I changed her name and some details.

Gina: You still unemployed?

Me: Yes! Do you know of a job opening? IS YOUR COMPANY HIRING?!

Gina: No. I just wanted to make sure you were at home so I have someone to talk to. You are so needy!

Me: Dammit. You got my hopes up.

Gina: Sorry. I swear is someone else tells me how powerful my vag is I am going on a killing spree.

Me: I'm sorry...what?

Gina: I'm in one of those tolerance and women empowerment seminars.

Backstory: Gina got caught with various people she works with telling a sexist joke. Someone else told the joke, but she was sent to a tolerance seminar anyhow, because she was laughing too.

Gina: The joke was funny.

Me: Do you know who told on you?

Gina: Yes I do. And I am going to shit in the shape of a muffin and give it to her when I get back to the office.

Me: Daaaaaamn.

Gina: The leader of this shindig is all about women's empowerment. She keeps telling everyone that their vaginas are powerful and we as women must stand up for other women.

Me: Haha! I find it so funny your company is paying for this. She sounds like the type of girl who couldn't get into a sorority in college.

Gina: DEAD ON. I feel really bad for the men in this thing though. You can tell they are totally uncomfortable.

Me: THERE ARE MEN THERE?!

Gina: Yeah. And every time they try to have some input the Leader of the Vagina Army keeps glaring at them and cutting them off.

Me: WOW.

Gina: One guy was trying to tell a story about his wife giving birth and his respect for women and it didn't go too well.

Me: Oh please do share I am dying of laughter over here.

Gina: She waits for the poor SOB to finish his story and then she tells us this is just another way men try to steal an experience from women. CHILDBIRTH IS A WOMAN'S EXPERIENCE ONLY ENNA.

Me: Wooooooow.

Gina: The guys all learned to keep their heads down and doodle after that.

Me: I bet they're doodling what their maginificent vaginas would look like if they could steal them from the women!

(Long pause)

Me: You still there?

Gina: I totally got busted for laughing. The Leader of the Vagina Army came right over and asked what was funny.

Me: What did you say?

Gina: What could I say? I had no other choice...

Me: WHAT DID YOU SAY?

Gina: ...penises.

Me: Hahahahahaha

Gina: Then the guys started laughing. Then she said we were taking a break, and asked to see me privately.

Me: Uh oh

Gina: She told me I was what was wrong with women these days.

Me: GTFO!

Gina: I told her that since this was not a pass/fail situation, and as long as I do not walk out, this doesn't go in my file at work. I just have to get through eight hours of this crap. And IT IS CRAP.

Me: What did she say?

Gina: She went on a tirade about vaginas. I dunno. I stopped paying attention. She was eating up my smoke break time, plus I wanted to go outside and see what the guys were all saying.

Me: Priceless!

Gina: I only have two more hours of this crap. I should try not to get kicked out though, so I should stop texting.

Me: Ok, but one last thing before you go...

Gina: What?

Me: Your vagina is magnificent! IT CAN CHANGE THE WORLD GINA! VAGINA POWER!

Gina: Go to hell.