Monday, January 26, 2009

20 Things

As some of you might know, I have a few sleep issues.  Very often this means that I will get up in the middle of and destroy random things in my house. Or, you know, filling the bathtub with water and then throwing all toilet paper, copy paper, paper towels, and napkins in it. Sometimes though, I will just say random things in the middle of the night. Sometimes, I frantically shake Eric awake to tell him these little gems of wisdom. Here is a list of things I have woken up to tell Eric, as told by Eric:

  1. I hate bananas! HOW DARE YOU?

  2. We should kill her. She has ugly shoes.

  3. The toxicology report came back - you have too many elves in your blood.

  4. Happy Mother's Day! I got you a stripper!

  5. Cocaine! I'm sorry - what IS cocaine? (Groggy Eric "So that makes me Alex Trebek then?")

  6. Maybe the elephant ate it!

  7. I think I have lice. (Eric: "I think that means I have lice too." Me: "No, lice are like Ice-T, they only like white women." Eric: "GOOD GOD. Either way, we will deal with this in the morning." PS I LOVE COCO, I don't know where this came from...)

  8. Something smells like menthol and poop.

  9. The keys? I left them in your mouth. (Eric, holding the keys: "I KNOW ENNA, THANKS FOR PUTTING THEM THERE WHILE I WAS SLEEPING.")

  10. What tastes like purple?

  11. Pssst, my shoes smell like Eskimos.

  12. The ninja is back - he's  in my closet!

  13. No! That's MY onion!

  14. You were in my pocket! I smooshed you! OH I AM SO HAPPY YOU ARE STILL ALIVE. (Eric: "As am I.")

  15. Spaghetti cat! NO!

  16. They paid me in bacon!? How am I supposed to pay the bills with bacon?! It's cool but still...

  17. I think AT&T might be trying to kill me (Eric: "But not Comcast? Interesting.")

  18. Where is my engagement ring? Oh, right, I ate it. (Eric was WIDE awake after that one, just because it was entirely possible.)

  19. Dude, wake up, I ate a button, it's totally cool. It wasn't my ring. Still...where did the button come from?

  20. This pill will ensure I will never get sick again. But it's covered in ear wax, so I think I will pass.


For those of you who work with Eric and read this, I am sure this explains why he is so gwumpy when he comes to work in the morning.

This post has been brought to you by Enna, Queen of Sleepwalking.
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18 comments about my weirdness:

  1. I'm wasting my time in these masters classes. I should be going to psychology classes and I'd get a PhD. for sure out of you!

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  2. Daddoo - For real. I could be your first test subject!

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  3. Good lord, Enna! That is some epic sleep-talking. Nonetheless, I would happily share a tent with you for one night to experience it first hand. I might even insist that you eat pepper before bed.

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  4. Sarah Von - Oh I am so afraid of sleeping in a tent it isn't even funny. I am so afraid I would sleep walk and then punch a bear or something.

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  5. too many good ones in there to pick a favorite...you are one crazy ass chick

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  6. Indeed I am, indeed I am!

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  7. That's really funny. I've been known to talk in my sleep, too, but it's usually unintelligible garble. I would much rather speak clearly and confuse the snot out of my bed companion.

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  8. See, I think he would rather something unintelligible garbling rather than me shoving keys into his mouth while he sleeps.

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  9. You know how you quadruple lock all the doors at night? You might think about a combo lock safe for all the valuables. A big one with a ventilation system and refrigerator, so Eric can hide out till morning, if necessary! You know, just so you won't have to have surgery to remove whatever you've eaten? Bless both of you. I'm a bit concerned.

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  10. He would be down with that plan if there were a playstation in there. Actually, now that I think about it, I would probably never see him again. The smallest thing I have ever eaten (outside of food) is a button. As far as I know, anyhow.

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  11. I remember doing something like that to your mom one time. I woke her up to tell her that they came down from Migathera in a burned out blue F J. I have no idea what it was that I was trying to say so you probably get it from me. I never shoved keys in her pie hole though. That one is all yours.

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  12. You should try it some time, it was very well received, all things considered.
    And now I know where I get it from!

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  13. As IF you had to think about that very hard! :) Won't WE be fun when we hit the nursing home?!

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  14. Indeed you will. Indeed you will. And we will stick you in the first one we see on Dateline, don't you worry.

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  15. Well - don't take anything for that. While on "a sleep med" I made it all the way from cfornia to vegas. Right about lunch time it hit me that I didn't remember how I got to the airport or much of the morning at all. The Mr said I acted completely normal. With your sleep disturbance.. that would be pretty interesting.

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  16. Oh I know, doctors have told me sleep meds and me won't mix.

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  17. well, maybe the elephant DID eat it.

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