So, very often, I find myself on the phone with some charity. And I can't be a total dick to these people, they're volunteers, and it's not their fault I somehow ended up on their calling/mailing/relentless email lists.
I have tried everything, well, everything not involving firearms, to try to get off the phone with them at least somewhat politely.
I have finally found the perfect excuse.
Caller: ...and with a small donation we can save the whales/defend Rod/plant a tree/save the children
Me: Cutting them off I'm sorry! I have to go, my baby just spit up all over herself! I'm so sorry!
Caller: Oh! Gosh! Go! It's ok!
Me: Thanks. NOW TAKE ME OFF YOUR LIST.
Eric said that one day, this would catch up with me. And it did.
One of my friends from childhood called, and I was walking out the door at the time, and it just naturally came out.
Friend: ...then he broke up with me! Can you believe that?! I mean...
Me: I'm sorry, my baby just spit up all over herself! I have to go!
Friend: YOU HAD A BABY?
Me: Ahhhh*%$@. Taking off coat. No, what were you saying?
Speaking of swearing, reset the counter, I swore today. $#@&%# telemarketers.
That is priceless.
ReplyDeleteI used to like it when the Jehovah's Witnesses came by early on Sunday mornings. I'd tell them that I was in the middle of making new little Catholics and then close the door. They don't say much after that and they don't call back.
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