I got an Xmas bonus! I know what you're thinking, "GTFO!" which I cannot type out because I am trying to quit swearing but YES IT IS TRUE.
Time to celebrate by blowing it all at Hooters! Someone get me some oysters! I feel like taking Bendryl later and having some crazy Piccasso dreams!
Or, you know, paying some bills. I guess that might be ok too.
I am thinking of ditching out of Eric's Xmas party and showing up at my extended family's party, busting open the doors, screaming "MY BITCHES!" and then promptly walking back out to my car and driving away. But I am pretty sure that would give my mother a coranary. Just like how she is going to have to explain to them at some point during Xmas about how her lovely daughter (me) became a protestant. GOOD TIMES!
So, in conclusion, I would like to say to my parents thank you for another wonderful year, and I appreciate all that you do for me. Merry Xmas, my bitches. And remember, it could be worse: I could be a scientologist.
...or and atheist, or a Christian Reformed, or a Unitarian, or a snake handler to name a few. We love you too.
ReplyDelete^^
ReplyDeleteThat was me.
Come worship the Flying Spaghetti Monster. We have waffles.
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas, bitch!
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