I Hate Iron Mike

Over the weekend, Eric and my friend Beth dragged me out of bed to go to Ditka's Sport Dome. See, when SNL used to make fun of Chicagoans for loving Ditka far, far more than we should, that was pretty true. So true, in fact, that we make dome shrines to him, ala the ancient druids.

Ok, not really, he actually owns the dome, but you get the idea. It's a literal SHRINE to Ditka.

One of my other friends, Denise, was working the Sport Dome's Haunted House. We all the went to the bar before we went in, and that's where my friends George and Beth told me it was not, in fact, a ride, but that I would be walking for 15 minutes.

Now, keep in mind, I had just woken up, so I was a bit cranky, and in no mood to walk ANYWHERE. So I said, "Ahhhh fuck Iron Mike!"

Two men behind me literally GASPED, and one said to the other "Don't look at her! She's the devil!" and people literally hissed at me.

When we finally got into the waiting area to go into the Haunted...Dome, they played really bad techno music, which, I must admit, IS actually scarey to me. I mean, if a bunch of Germans wearing 'Don't Hassle the Hoff' t-shirts came out and started dancing, I really would have just run right out of there.

Eric said the techno music was so bad it was like being in a shitty rave. George replied that it was like being on a shitty webpage. Yeah, it was that bad.

When we finally got in, it was really fun. All the actors did a really good job, and I totally recommend it!

I just don't recommend going with Eric, as he found every single fire/emergency exit in the place. Which was increadibly funny. One of the actors came up to him and said "What are you, SIMPLE? It's the fire exit!" Which made me laugh until I almost peed.

All the same, I am not fond of Iron Mike, and feel free to hiss.