Playboy

Remember the other day when I said I had nothing to read on the train? Well, that wasn't entirely true.

See, awhile back, someone I know gave me a gag subscription to Playboy. I called Playboy and asked them to change the name over to Eric's, mostly because the mailman was giving me the pervert eye whenever I went to get the mail.

Surprisingly, Playboy agreed to change the name on the account. And they had, hands down, the best customer service people I have ever had to deal with. (Plus I pictured everyone I talked to in one of those old fashioned phone operator rooms dressed in those bunny outfits. Which became especially humorous when I got to talk to a deep voiced black man.)

Anyway, I usually go down and check the mail on my way out the door. Often this means the mail sits in my bag, and I read it on the train. So, of course, I had Playboy on me, it being in the mail and all. When I got to work, I took out a brown paper bag, covered the outside of the magazine like it was a 4th grade math book, and out it back in my bag. When I got on the train to come home, I busted out my Playboy and started reading.

And ladies, the articles are good. No, really. Especially the interviews and the political articles.

It was funny, because I was trying to find the next article I wanted to read, so I was flipping through looking for it, and I caught myself thinking "Wow, there are an awful lot of naked ladies in this maga...oh right."

Then, in the middle of all this flipping and reading and nekkedness, a woman sits down next to me. It occurs to me I am essentially reading PORN on a train (technically, I was reading about autism and vaccinations, but you get the idea. From the outside, I am reading porn.)

So, I very slyly put the Playboy back into my bag, and start to text and call my sister, and well, you know the rest from there.

BUT SERIOUSLY - kudos to Playboy for a STELLAR writing staff! The next time your man says he is reading it for the articles, if he's smart - HE IS.  And you should ask him to photocopy them for you. I would say you should read them, but hot damn, no one needs to see that much cooter.