Anger, Resentment, With a Little Theft Thrown In

*Disclaimer* I would never slip a cop LSD or ACID or ANYTHING.

Eric and I both had pretty shitty days today. I am going to start with Eric's day, mostly because his is just sad, and mine is more humorous because I clumsily discover theft.

Eric took Thursday and Friday off of work so he could have dental surgery. He was given a rush order on Monday to be shipped on Friday. So he made it Wednesday, and put it in for shipping. Thursday, there were changes to the order. No one did them. Friday, it did not ship, and no one was notified. Monday (today) Eric came into work and got written up for it not going out. I know you're thinking "huh?" right about now. So are we. He said that he refused to sign it, which was good. Then he said, "I know it's easy for people to not like me. I am an unlikeable person." Which pretty much tore my heart out. How do you make someone feel better after that? Is it even possible? Here's hoping the answer is meatloaf, because that is all I can think of right about now. Either way, plans are changing, he is leaving this company, sooner rather than later.

Now, for my day. I came into work around 5 a.m. and the phone was already ringing. I answer it, and promptly get told off by some minimum wage employee because my fax wasn't receiving. Normally when this happens I tell them they are faxing to our phone number and that the fax ends in a seven. Then I do not say goodbye, I just let them think I hung up and listen to them call me a cunt before hanging up. I guess this morning ritual would compare to other people's morning coffee.

Anyway, I happen to glance over at the fax/copier...and it's not there. I was like, "Uh, it's down, let me...bring it back up?" I even ended the sentence higher like it was a question, all Ron Burgundy style. I assume the IT guy came through and took the fax/copier in for repair, so I go into the back and grab the old, crappy fax machine that needs to be babysat for it to work because of frequent paper jams. I hook it up, and as I am sitting back down, I notice Ericka's computer is missing. And my computer isn't connecting to the server...

This is about the time I realize that we've had a break-in. I open the server room to see...NOTHING. The plus side? They didn't get out the door with the server, just a LARGE fax/copier, 5 computers, and 4 cell phones/CB Radios. I call HR Guy, who tells me to call Lumberg, so I do. And typically, he does not answer.  I often wonder what kind of sexual torture dungeon was he kept in as a six year old that made his this cold to all of us that he never answers his phone.

I digress, the police are called, the evidence tech comes and fingerprints everything, she will be coming back to fingerprint us all to eliminate us. I made the joke that when she runs my fingerprints, please remember that I no longer hang out with people who do copious amounts of acid. She did not laugh. She did not smirk. She just said "I will keep that in mind." To which Jason Buckaroo turns and mouths the words "THE LADY COP THINKS YOU'RE A DOUCHE!"

Then, seeing as I work in a donut factory, I say the following:

Me: "Ma'am?"

Lady Cop Who Thinks I am a Douche: "Yes?"

Me: "I am not trying to be smart here, but would you all like some donuts?"

Lady Cop Who Thinks I am a Douche: "I will radio the station and ask."

I made her up a basket of donuts anyhow. Seeing as how she thinks I am a douche, I figured it could only score me some points.

After she left, Jason Buckaroo started laughing. We all look at him strange, and he says (in his infinite wisdom) "You know Lady Cop totally threw away those donuts. She probably thought the Acid Queen over here tampered with them and tried to slip them some LSD or something."

DAMMIT I AM A DOUCHE.