What is this diet?

So, I have decided to go on a diet. My diet is an augmented version of the Detox Diet.

Only mine is better.

How so - you ask? Well, for one, I could care less about Detoxing, I just want to eat better and lose some inches off my waist. I don't want to lose my curves, however.

Rules:

I can eat any fruit.

I can eat any vegetable.

I can eat any fish.

I can eat minor amounts of dairy (no more than one serving a day)

I can take a multivitamin

I can take Fish Oil Capsules (I like to say I CAN to this, mostly because it is gross and gives belches that taste remarkably like homeless-woman-coochie. This is my attempt at staying positive.)

I CANNOT:

Eat Grains or carbs

Sugars

Pop (Sweet Lady Caffine! DON'T LEAVE ME!)

Anything remotely tasty

Beef

Things smothered in cheese, tasty tasty cheese...

Real Homeless-woman-coochie

Even diet pop is a no-go

Hooters TMI Chicken Wings with a side of blue cheese dressing...

(The above list is what I will be eating on day 31...)

WHAT DO I HOPE TO ACCOMPLISH?

I want to lose 5 inches off my waist. If I lose more that would be great as well. Allow me to illustrate my goals for you in this lovely graph.

Thank God for my graph-making skills! I imagine God up there in His Heaven Workshop, all making people, and he gets to me, and says, "We'll give her excellent graph skills, and to balance her out, ahhhhh we'll make it look like she is perpetually 4 months pregnant. Men will constantly give up their seat for her, and it will take her months to figure out why!"

Also, I will be working my stomach muscles, as well as working out 4 times a week. I will be definitely be doing this diet for the next 30 days.

My favorite holiday is coming up - the Fourth of July! I am getting all geared up for it. Also, if this is a success, I might extend it for Eric's (the significant other, for those of you who are newbies) Christmas party.

I promise to try to update once a day, for at least the next 30 days. Hey, is Morgan Spurlock can do ridiculous shit for 30 days, so can I.