Day 4: Enter the Fiber!

So, I take a fiber supplement. I should have mentioned that sooner, but I managed to forget (seeing as how we are opening another store, and that makes things hectic at work). One of my favorite things to do is give fiber to my co-worker Jason. I think I am making a believer out of him.

Today was a very easy day to stick to my diet. Allow me to explain why:

Remember when Martha Stewart's dog died? And she wrapped it in that weird burial garb? No? Well, let me refresh your memory for you:



Yeah. Creeeeeepy.

(Caveat to this entry: It gets a little gross. Also, I should probably tell you know, the more inappropriate the thought, the less my head filters it before it comes out of my mouth.)

ANYWAY, today, I was at work, and I happened to wonder aloud if Martha had to gut the dog before she buried it, and if she gutted it, did she bury the guts in a little bag like they do humans, or did she just throw them away?

And there was a collective GASP in the office.

And Jason, my fiber-loving co-worker, finally picked up his jaw off the floor and ask, "I'm sorry Enna, but did you just say that humans bury their organs in a little bag?"

And I replied, "Yeah, they remove your organs and put them in this bag and put them at the foot of the casket."

*more gasps*

When Jason once again composes himself again, he asks, "Enna, what kind of bag? Like a grocery bag?"

I laugh my butt off and say, "No, it's not like they just suck your organs out, put it in a Crown Royal bag (it being the classiest bag of all) and whip in the casket as they lower you into the ground saying, 'here ya go buddy, enjoy these in the afterlife!' there's a whole process to it!"

At this point, two of my co-workers jump on wikipedia and look up embalming, and I call my mother, who was the original person who told me of this method, and she confirms that she saw it on Frontline or Dateline or some lite-news special-interest show.

Jason then informs me that wikipedia says that they do not remove the organs, but (and this gets gross) more liquefy them in your body with some special tools and acids (I stopped listening around this point and went to my happy place.)

So, I google embalming methods. And lo and behold, if there is an autopsy performed, then they put your organs in a bag at the base of your coffin afterwards.

And that is why I had no problem not eating crap today, (and had a HARD time eating in general) because I spent a chunk of my day goofing off and googling embalming methods. And to you people who run embalming information sites THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE PICTURES. And when I say thanks? I mean I will have nightmares about this for WEEKS.